Hateless

Some say that to show compassion

to those who hurt you

is to show weakness,

but they are blind to the strength

of a heart rid of hate,

and I'm sorry if this passion

had once hurt you

but I will not be weak;

no I will be strong

and be blind to your hate.

Unturned Stones

Oh lord, please leave me just one stone unturned

to save the insects living underneath

from the monotony of mysteries learned

and being without questions of what lies beneath.

Please leave all those eager souls in the dark

so they may enjoy  the thrill in the ask

The excitement gained from a question mark

often outweighs what is behind truth's mask.

That is not to say that you should live blind

but you should let the answers seek you

and each unturned stone that you may find

will justify everything that you do.

People forget that knowledge is sour

and the question itself holds the power.

Dizzy

Is it greed to ask for more

if you have less than before?

When things aren't going your way

can they still be okay?

Looking down from the peak

is when the view looks most bleak

so forgive me for feeling weak.

End of Year Recollections

I've been thinking back to this time last year

and how much everything seems to have changed.

How some of the things which I held so dear

are now considered obsolete and estranged.

But through all the experiences faced

I have not let this year change or deter me

and even if some moments have gone to waste

they still defined who I continue to be.

This last year has presented some pain

but in myself I am just as content,

to see the sunshine behind clouds of rain

and now that warmth will follow the descent.

Over the year things in my life have altered

but my rosy outlook has still not faltered.

Project

I'm begging you

to drag me from my comfort zones

and give me everything

that I say I dont want.

Take apart

each stubborn ideology

from my contrarian

mind full of loneliness.

Replace it all

with whatever you need from me,

make me your idea

of what perfection could mean.

Dowsing - Drowning

The lit up mirrors and the scented mist,

wont conceal my every imperfection

trying to remember every girl I kissed

as I scrutinise my reflection.

I savour every second of my soak,

cleansing away each and every flaw

before I leave the house in a cloud of smoke

leaving my shadows in a darkened awe.

The washing continues straight down our throats

as our tongues combat those prangs of guilt,

we both make our excuses, collect our coats

and return to where acquaintances were built.

And when the night ends it will start again

washing my impurities down the drain...

Overexposure

Keep chewing the flavour out of your food

'til you forget why you took the first bite.

Keep wallowing in your sorrowful mood

'til your dark completely devours your light.

Keep singing along to that same sad song

'til its words and messages lose meaning.

Keep convincing yourself your friends are wrong

'til they give up helpfully intervening.

Keep doodling on the margins of your page

'til all of the ink from your pen runs dry.

Keep spending all the contents of your wage

'til there is nothing left for you to buy.

Stop wearing down all that you love like their toys,

there is a battery life to your joys.

Lodging

I've been taking rural walks to find calm,

to get away from all but my mind.

I've been scribbling notes on to my palm,

trying to compare each place that I find.

The best of the lands seem to be out of bounds,

and I daren't fall victim to the owner's gun

as he tries to protect his lovely grounds,

all for a few moments of harmful fun.

So patiently I must bide my time

until those fields are vacant for me to roam

and when I can call them mine

I will lie down in them and call them home.

I am eager like a woken Christmas child

waiting to unwrap my portion of the wild.

Parallel Paths

We've been through many differing phases,

from friends to lovers, contempt back to friends

and through all of the meetings life raises

some encounters conclude with better ends.

When things went sour I was filled with regret,

we were just kids finding our place in the earth

but that is a time we can now forget

as we have refound what our bond is worth.

I wonder where it is our paths will lead

and if they'll continue to run side by side,

but there is one thing that is guaranteed

and that is my hope that they don't divide.

We are fastly approaching a new year

and I'm so glad that you're once again near.

Crossed Horizons

The church spire has dominated my skyline
     since the day that I was brought into this world,
          and although I am not a religious man,
               the sight has given me both bearings and hope.
But now this great monument must be forlorn
      as the grand corporations barge their way in,
          and although they still offer a vantage point,
               their paths are designed to lead to temptation.
I miss the era of that blinding red cross
     which seemed so distant to me as a wide-eyed child,
          and although I now recognise how close it is,
               it is too late for my horizons to be saved.

Secret Somethings

You deserve a sonnet every day

to let you know how wonderful you are

but I'm scared my words will drive you away

and as things stand, you're already too far.

But still there are some things which I must say

in the hope that you know for whom they are meant,

when I've been keeping these feelings at bay

it will be a relief when these words are sent.

I'm not sure what it is that you want

but I'm certain about what you deserve

and although you try to act nonchalant

I think I could provide your life with verve.

Yet, for now I will just keep on guessing

until life may one day give me blessing.

Flee, Fly Free!

"Let the sky swallow the sun

so that the darkness

may allow sorrow some rest",

the swallow soulfully sung

to quail its sadness

full of darkness and unrest.

Chin Up

The boy who was raised in the wild

could navigate without his sight,

with his memories compiled

he would test himself in the night.

And sure enough, he'd find his way

without taking so much as a peak,

but when he would walk in the day

what his eyes saw was just as bleak.

For he would look down at his feet

knowing that he would not get lost

but without new horizons to greet

he would forget the beauty he's crossed.

And then one day, he raised his chin

and saw the world as if it was born,

taking all of the beauty in,

his tired soul didn't feel as worn.

Odd Piece

This jigsaw puzzle that I have

scattered messily in the attic of my skull

has been troubling me since I first opened it.

I cannot concentrate with such clutter

and to unclutter I need concentration;

I'm trying to force my mismatching ends to meet.

After a break I've managed to regain composure

and starting at the edges,

I am slowly working my way towards the centre.

But now that I finally feel satisfied

that I have finished piecing all the parts together

there is a solitary part which doesn't match.

I'm not sure where this outlier belongs,

but I guess I'll keep this spare part

to be used when the time is right.

Haste vs. Heart

I get over-concerned with the different ways home

and forget that all the routes take me to the same place.

Each path makes its claim to being the more fair

but I've come to settle on those with the quickest pace.

It seems I have more care for rash convenience

rather than going out of my way for some joy.

When rationality loses lenience

my impatient ways can potentially destroy.

So the next time I must decide at a junction

I will make sure I don't regret what could be wrong,

not basing my choice on its respective function

but making the steps I wanted to all along.

Born in the Cold

New born cub, welcome to the club.

Here you will learn how to survive.

I know you yearn to always learn

but please be content being alive.

The world grows blunt the more you hunt;

it is an unforgiving place.

You are green, with so much unseen

and you might land flat on your face.

Don't spectate, participate

and take happiness from each day.

Just mix care with optimistic dare

and you can avoid being the prey.

Make Your Move

If you feel any attraction,

why don't you find out for yourself?

I seldom make the first action

when I have no belief in myself.

And I know even if you feel

you'll brush my beating aside,

denying that my heart is real

or that I'd fit well by your side

But I am more than a match

if you would take a chance.

I could be the greatest catch

to ever bite your baiting glance.

I'm aware of my off-putting faults

but I am striving to improve,

an effort that never halts...

if only you'd make the first move.

Suspended Time

I feel like a frozen Sun

with the mid-orbit world at my feet.

Each suspended second seems so clear

and the wind is howling all the answers

to the questions of the sleet

abrasively in my ear.

Enlightened in theory but I feel so discomfited,

having everything in view

means everything can see me,

and I am terrified of this fresh, cold honesty.

There is beauty in all that we do

but there are imperfections in all that I see.

Narcissistic Self-Loathing

They say to hate someone is also to love

because to hate you must care,

but I don't tend to hate people.

I dislike people,

I am annoyed by people,

I avoid people,

but I rarely hate.

In fact, the only person that I really hate

is me...

so does that mean I only care about myself?

The Constraints of an Identity Crisis

I am desperate

for the affection

that I do not have for myself,

but I know

people will have a hard time

falling love with who I am

when I can't decide

who it is I want to be.

Chased by Wolves

In the heart of the rust carpeted woods

the hounds are harmonising their howling,

whilst underneath the feathered cloud hoods

the moon’s face is discerningly scowling.

The man runs with his eyes over his shoulder,

darting to find what he fears the most.

As the night is slowly drawing colder

the wolves' jaws are rapidly drawing close.

Scrambling to the haven of an old oak tree,

he's unaware that the wolves have caught his scent.

They stroll around in circles hungrily

waiting for his composure to be spent.

And sure enough, he soon flees to a new place

where he hopes he can safely hide away

but the wolves can easily match his pace

and they feed on each failure's dismay.

If only he knew to face his fear and fight;

to growl right back at their toying voices

then the wolves would look elsewhere for a bite

and he wouldn't need to such hard choices.

See, he would run out of places to hide

if he insisted on feeling afraid;

a victim of his own misguided pride

and decisions that were forced to be made.

Wanting, Dreaming

If you have a want that outweighs your need

then is it only a subject of greed?

And if your wants are not attainable

then how long can dreams be sustainable?

If your dreams still refuse to be broken

how can the dreamer be awoken?

And if your dreams turn scary and weird

how can you avoid that which you've always feared?

I've been trying to keep my feet on the ground,

I've been trying to keep my eyes unbound

but I still I manage to drift off to dream,

scenes playing out in a recurring theme.

I've been trying to snap out of my sleep,

I've been trying to make targets to keep

but I still manage to just slightly miss,

fearing I'll always suffer life's lonely kiss.

They Say

They say that good things come to those who wait

but I'm not sure how long I can delay

until I accept that it is just fate

that some things are not meant to go my way.

They say the best thing the restless is rest

so I have sent myself straight to my bed

but having put their wisdom to the test

I still have heavy heart and a hectic head.

They say plans are best made well in advance

so you can work towards meeting their ends

but I never planned for having no chance

of ever being anything other than friends.

I'm constantly told things will soon go my way

but I'm starting to give up on what they say...

Assisted Separation

Numerous times, I've been led to do wrong

but I have learnt to live without regret.

Sometimes my temptations can tug too strong

to force me to a choice I won't forget.

Deep down I know that my nature is good

and I use this to justify my faults,

that any wrong step is misunderstood

or I'm a victim of life's sudden jolts.

Under every sin there lies a trigger,

and she squeezes it hard against her skull

til my wrongdoing grows even bigger

and the devil's happy that his hands are full.

But I don't mind being that sinful shot

that reminds you of everything he's not

Confidence

I'm rediscovering my self belief

and with it I've found that smile I used to wear.

It's still a perfect fit to my relief

and I've notice it's made more people stare.

But rather than letting them walk on by

I've started striking up conversation,

because you get nowhere in acting shy

and confidence can trigger elation.

As my belief rises, so does my chest

and I'm starting to hold my back up straight,

as I return to that which I do best

by regaining a grip on my own fate.

But this high will end, deep down I know

and I'm not ready for another low...

Signposts

You are just another sign posted name

on my journey towards where I want to be.

Everywhere has started to look the same

as the distance grows between you and me.

But the new horizons put yours to shame

with splendour as far as my eyes can see

and although I hold you to no blame

I am finding comfort in feeling free.

I know that this journey may take a while

but it will be worth it get there

to become enthralled with someone new's smile;

to fall in love with the resplendent and fair.

I have been travelling for many mile

and I still haven't found what is so rare.

I don't know if I will arrive in style,

I guess I will find out when I get there.

Of Starlight and the Mirror in the Moon

The stars are shining brightly tonight

and I've been told that means that things are clear

but they are outshone by the moon's false light

and it reminds me that no-one is near.

If only I could be just like the moon

and imitate the sun's glaring shine

then my summers might not end so soon

and under the blue skies you could be mine.

But then we would have something untrue

and it wouldn't be my light you adored

so what little light I have will have to do

because honesty is all I can afford.

I might not offer the brightest glow

but I give more than any star you know.

One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure

When I disposed of your red notes

that you used to write about me,

my head was littered with thoughts

of what we could potentially be.

But those thoughts soon became scattered

as the wind caught them into flight

and words that may have once mattered

were blowing out of mind, out of  sight.

That's not to say I didn't care

or that I got rid out of hate,

I just no longer needed them there;

what I needed was a clean slate.

Soon the wind will bring back a slip

that contains the password to my heart,

I  can only hope this wont rip

and that its words will not depart.

The Thumping Under the Floorboards

The Devil came and whispered in my ear

about a demonic notion called lust

which taunts and teases me using my fear

and sets a plaguing rot into my trust

until all that I had once held dear

has disintegrated into coarse rust.

Now my demon is nailed under the boards

but at night I can still hear it creaking,

moaning for treatment in underground wards

apologising for ever speaking,

they say they are willing to work towards

releasing the soul that they are seeking.

When I notice that they have changed their tone

I shower them and then drop their towel

but they still haunt me with their calling moan

crying out in elongated vowels

which sends a chill down my every bone

and yet I am still enticed by their howls.

I am no longer scared of the voices

which whisper in the dead of the night,

much stronger is my fear of the choices

that I face now I've returned to the light

and the feeling that really destroys is

I'll never be able to get it right.