Selfish Mind

This mind is mine.

It is the only

thing in this world

that I still have

completely for myself

so why should I share that?

Perspective

A man needs to experience feeling stressed

to remind him that he is usually blessed

because when that struggle begins to go

it is only then when he will know

that every second that he is living

is just another which the world is giving.

At the Pond (Linger)

Origami ships and cannonball drips

plummeting to the depths of the pond.

Palms on hips and eyes on inviting lips

floating to the surface, buoyantly fond.

Stale crumbs tear as the ducks squabble and share

feasting upon the gift of remains.

Visible air lingers around your hair

the defiant frost of winter never wanes.

Footsteps crunch and crack on the icy track,

using balance as an excuse to hold hands

but what foothold lacks the touch will bring back

lingering fingertips they both understand.

Now they cannot let each other slip

for they tread in time to the heart's soft skip.

One Petal Too Far

Torturing roses, petal by petal,

he watches downy dashes of deep crimson

descend to the floor,

dropping in a dulling descrescendo

at hardly one hundred heartbeats per hour.

Knowing already that she loves him not

he clings to the stem

as though it bring any sense or salvation,

but the tighter he clasps that broken dream

the deeper the thorns inearth into his palms

and as he has not the heart

to remove those thorns buried deeper still

it is the delicate surface which suffers.

Soon, he will strip the petals bare

and by then he will not be unrooted

with glossy eyes like some horticultural prize

and just bloody thorns in his hands.

Multimplications

Disappointment is the product of expectation,

and expectation is the sum of arrogant thoughts;

to subtract the sadness from your life

you must divide your heart from your ego.

Hyperlink

I've been hovering over that button

debating whether or not to press send

but should that action instigate something

then I would not be able to amend.

I am scared of that final commitment;

I am scared of that want the most

because if the message I give's misplaced

then I would find so much shame in my post.

So I keep my deepest feelings as a draft

free for editing until the time is right

for me to publish my words for your eyes

when I'm confident they'd be a welcome sight.

When you're ready you can click and be my link

but for now I need some more time to think.

Skeleton Key

I always come up with notions

with the best of intentions

but often lack the devotion

to bring them into invention.

It's like I'm holding a brass key

when I cannot find a door

and it takes everything in me

not to throw it to the floor.

Someday I will find my keyhole

and handles which glitter and gleams

opening up a clean soul

where I can unlock all my dreams.

Impossibility in Originality

Everything we do and

everything we are is

contrived and

derivative.

We blunder
the same direction in
similar gait with
our individual

grubby footprints.

Life on Loop

Someone tell God

that my tape is stuck,

because

all that I'm living

is the same stuttered scenes.

I am scared

to press eject

although I know

that I must.

Irrationale

There's a rationale

for each irrational thought

and I don't know if

I'm paranoid

or

naive.

Driftwood

You

seem like a distant memory

washed away

on an old piece of driftwood,

I

consider your rescue, but it's

more humane

to let nature run its course.

Clawing for Escape

Tears they,

they soak my throat

and the inside of my chest

but tears they,

they won't soak my skin.

500

Nervously walking through your inviting door

I am having second thoughts about this place

but I cannot plan my exit anymore

because you have already seen my face.

So I head towards you and greet you with a hug,

your touch lingering longer than I would dare

my hands webbing fitting your hips so snug,

the light bounces off your radiant glare.

It takes all of my strength to pull away

and now all of my doubts have left the room

leaving you and I alone to stay

where we can hold hands and watch our orchids bloom.

I head to the bar and buy us both a drink

whilst you briefly go outside to breathe the night,

from the doorway you give me a small wink

that upturns and sets my stomach alight.

We head back towards where we were just standing

as the band begins to play our dearest song,

our eye contact conveys an understanding

that for now this dance is where we belong.

When the song reaches its last, drawn out notes

we make our excuses for an early leave,

in an anxious haste we gather our coats

so we can share our hearts and interweave.

Tattoo

On my arm there is a smudged stain

where you scribbled your number and name,

and I wonder if it will remain

for as long as you've been on my brain.

I've scrubbed at it until I bled

but it was still there when skin was shed

so it will stay until I am dead

or at least until I'm in your bed.

I keep your name close like a tattoo

your ink touches me royal and blue

and now whatever I choose to do

I am always reminded of you.

Passing Songs

Dread fills my heart as a snippet of a resonate song

blares out from a builders old radio on my ascent of the hill,

the lyrics prodding me like impatient children who've waited too long

to see me shakily sing the words back agasinst my will.

They tell in part, a tale that I already know will come to be

but I convince myself it won't in order to ease my worries

however that short soundbite was enough for me

and the words come rushing back in tear-frenzied flurries.

When I get to the top of the hill, I look back down

and wonder what all the big fuss was about.

Here, where I can overlook all of the dots in my town

it is evident I was narcisstic in my doubt.

If the artist had once sung about those feelings

then in experiencing the sentement I am not alone,

deep down I know that time holds the ultimate dealings

so I may as well take the gamble when my hand is thrown.

Frisson

The hairs on my body stand on end

like aerials pointed ninety degrees from my skin.

The goosebumps rise to their morning alarm

which buzz and rattle each other through my gawping corpse.

Meanwhile, the pupils find themselves in tunnels

whilst their blinkered teachers have crept off

to leave the blind but eager children to fend for themselves.

Sensing the subtelties in resonance

I snap from stagnation.

Throw me a pen and napkin

so I can catch this frequency, before

the signal is lost.

Love Science

Could a man denounce the God he believes in

if it meant escaping Satan's wrath

or would his faith out weigh his fear,

when he knew that Love could save him?

Could a man denounce the God he doubts

if it meant escaping Satan's wrath

or would his fear outweigh his faith

when he is terrified of the science behind Love?

Resplendence Abuse

You flick your ashes in my direction

as your glowing embers waver and wane.

I tell myself it's a sign of affection

but I can't help but inhale your disdain.

It's like you can sense my addiction

and know that I need you like air in my lungs

but you are afraid of the conviction

that is brought by downcast eyes and eager tongues.

Lately I've been thinking that I would quit,

that I could cope without having my fix

but when another of your smiles is lit

I can't help but fall for all of your tricks.

So now I try to ease myself away

breathing in your scent less and less each week,

but that taste in my mouth continues to stay

and it makes it hard for me to speak.

I'm rid of your cancer but hooked on your cure

and I can't bring myself to break the use

so I will continue to feel impure

as you continue to sport and seduce.

I am ready to be rid of your tug,

I am finally ready to say goodbye.

Replacing you with a harder drug

is the only way I can feel Love's high.

Magnet

I used to know a boy with magnetic bones,

who was forced to spend all his time alone

for with each time matched he'd get too attatched

to a connection never his to own.

Each object that bolted on weighed him down

like a ten tonne plutonium jewelled crown

and each magnetic pull left his shoulders full

until his forehead was forced into a frown.

But he realised he'd been blessed all along

when each latching shard of armour made him strong

and he would grow with each piece that he'd know

which he could make right from each steely cold wrong.

Now that boy I knew welcomes each attraction

and does not let weight become a distraction,

finding such bliss in each metallic kiss

that carries on growing upon retraction.

Slaying the Senseless

I've been enclosing this ravenous, scornful snake

safely away in a cave guarded by white stones.

He is held cruelly there for humanity's sake

so that he may not strip them down right to their bones.

But lately I've been thinking that it's more humane

to set him free to devour a corpse bit by bit,

for he only chooses those with a barren brain

which he playfully calls "survival of the wit".

So the only way to keep this serpent away

is simply to display the snake some common sense,

but this so called common notion is scarce today

and I'm sickened...so let the massacre commence.

Object/Subject

Would I be subject to your objection

if you were the object of my subjection?

Hateless

Some say that to show compassion

to those who hurt you

is to show weakness,

but they are blind to the strength

of a heart rid of hate,

and I'm sorry if this passion

had once hurt you

but I will not be weak;

no I will be strong

and be blind to your hate.

Unturned Stones

Oh lord, please leave me just one stone unturned

to save the insects living underneath

from the monotony of mysteries learned

and being without questions of what lies beneath.

Please leave all those eager souls in the dark

so they may enjoy  the thrill in the ask

The excitement gained from a question mark

often outweighs what is behind truth's mask.

That is not to say that you should live blind

but you should let the answers seek you

and each unturned stone that you may find

will justify everything that you do.

People forget that knowledge is sour

and the question itself holds the power.

Dizzy

Is it greed to ask for more

if you have less than before?

When things aren't going your way

can they still be okay?

Looking down from the peak

is when the view looks most bleak

so forgive me for feeling weak.

End of Year Recollections

I've been thinking back to this time last year

and how much everything seems to have changed.

How some of the things which I held so dear

are now considered obsolete and estranged.

But through all the experiences faced

I have not let this year change or deter me

and even if some moments have gone to waste

they still defined who I continue to be.

This last year has presented some pain

but in myself I am just as content,

to see the sunshine behind clouds of rain

and now that warmth will follow the descent.

Over the year things in my life have altered

but my rosy outlook has still not faltered.