Monday, 30 July 2012

In Your Dreams

Take me to that place in your mind
where umbrellas rain from the sky,
you get lost in all that you find,
and you will live the day that you die.

Take me to that place in your eyes
where sad days smile and good times frown,
oceans of birds and fish that fly
in a world that lives upside down.

Take me to that place for the blind
where everything is crystal clear,
every snowflake is signed
when only sunshine is near.

Poor Intentions

Why do you fein interest in my evens
just to try and get closer to my odds?
Why do you listen to things which bore you
with a friendly smile and such fervent nods?

Why do you try to mask your true intentions
when I can see the hunger in your eyes?
If you do don't know what the contest entails
then you will hold no stake to win the prize.

So you will not be involved in the draw
because your desires offer me no draw;
I don't want to be the catch in your paws
but to be the cat which leaves you in awe.

You will have to find somewhere new to feed
where the want is much greater than the need.

Tickley Cough

You are that tickley cough
in the back of my throat
which I can't help but relent to
no matter how much I ignore it.
At least I can find comfort
in that illnesses are temporary
and your nagging urges
will soon be easily swallowed.


Leave locks on my zips
and my hands by my hips,
led away from temptation.
Keep my change stored away
and my longings at bay,
led away from temptation.
Let my stomach be flat
and my wallet be fat,
led away from temptation.
Let me remain good
when misunderstood,
led away from temptation.

Saturday, 21 July 2012

She Loves Me So

That flower in my heart,
so vivid and vibrant,
it is beginning to bloom.
I can sense the bees
eagerly buzzing around
attempting to get closer.
It makes me grow tall
with my roots planted firm
to feel wanted.
Pull away my petals
and let it conclude
"she loves me so"...

Smiles All Round

For the first time in a while
I've notices sunrays piercing the clouds.
For the first time in a while
I've felt my mouth form a smile.
For the first time in a while
I have reason to be proud.
For the first time in a while
I've felt my mouth form a smile.

A Better Self Portrait

I want to be as pure on the inside
as I always present myself to be.
I want no secrets for me to hide
including my own morbid misery.

So I'll give it a go being clean cut
and wash away those things which get me down.
I'm going to stop living by my gut
and start to trust what lies beneath my crown.

I'm going to live a life of pearly white
and try to brighten up all of my dark.
I'm going to maintain my early nights
and compliment them with early starts.

I'm going to paint my present at its best
and let the future fill in the rest.

Summer Cheer

Another summer,
another group of friends home
who I probably wont see.
Another summer,
another promise of sunshine,
unfulfilled and wet.
Another summer,
another opportunity to rest
until it becomes tedious.
Another summer,
another chance to make memories
which goes wasted lusting over the past.

Another summer,
another season closer to death.

Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Lost Child at 20

I will not change the world
and the world will not change me
so I need to start loving the things I live by
rather than trying to live by the things I love.
Someday I'll find that happy medium
that matured compromise
but let me be a child just a while longer
until I find my feet and my heart stops growing.

Monday, 16 July 2012


With my eyes shut tight like clams,
I don't want to leave this ocean bed
when every wave of washed up wishes
laps over my drowsy dreams.
I can feel myself drowning in despair
at the prospect of another dismal day
full of desperation and depression,
being a minnow in a sea of marauders.

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Wasted Potential

I know I have so many talents
but I am too weak to meet my potential.
So tell me, does saying this make me arrogant
or under-confident?

Give up the Chase

I've come to realise that life is a series
of false expectations which we chase
in the hope that we may reach them,
like traveling on an escalator
they travel from a constant distance
at the same pace as me.

It's quite depressing to think
that I have so many years to come
of the same fruitless following,
and I will never reach anything
or be of any more worth.

Almost 21 and I might as well be dead.

Friday, 13 July 2012


Self-doubt is the only impediment
which has deterred me from living my dreams.
From now, I will relentlessly believe
that I can achieve any of my schemes.

To be realistic is to be resigned
to the confines society has set,
so scribble out all of the boundaries
and you will learn to live without regret.

And I will keep on scribbling away
until those scrawling scratches make some sense
because if I keep on pressing down hard
the words will be in their own terms and tense.

One of these days I will learn how to fly;
I say it's viable, so why can't I?

Thursday, 12 July 2012


If I knew the way
to where I want to go
would it be enough
to prevent getting lost,
or would I still get sidetracked
on some wrong turn
who sends me
hopelessly perplexed?

I know the direction
that I ought to take
but every time I set off
something blocks the way,
and every diversion
I take in good intentions
is another three years back
to the sorry place I started.


Maybe I am not all of those white lies
I was told I'd be when I was a kid,
there is nothing special behind my eyes
and I know even less than I ever did.

I know they were told to boost my esteem
but your words did more harm than they did good
because when I defiantly dared to dream
I got far less than I thought I should.

I am no longer your little boy
but I am just as fragile and scared,
I am still searching for another toy
rather than waiting for mine to be repaired.

And when in need, I screw up my face and cry,
so maybe that baby in me did not die.

Tuesday, 10 July 2012

Set in my Ways

I live by my own unfounded theories
which all sound great inside my head.
I have the conviction to believe
but lack the confidence to make them spread.

I might well be an unknown mastermind
or a lunatic with his head in the clouds,
but to seek recognition I will not find
is to be just as dim as the blinded crowds.

I like to think the world isn't ready
when in fact I'm not ready for the world,
I should keep expectations safe and steady
and not concern myself with where I'm curled.

Someday, I'll be ready to let you all in
and you will see the grounds behind my grin.

Choose a Letter, Any Letter

Alphabetic lottery
isn't what it used to be,
its draws are all old history
and don't present a lot for me.

Wrapped Up

My to-do list is wrapped around my neck
and I cannot find the air to inhale;
or the pen to keep those things done in check
and so time will pass and those tasks must fail.

If only it could give me just an inch
then it would comfortably unravel
 but I am confined and I can feel its pinch
which makes my throat sound as rough as gravel.

Someday, I am sure I will escape its clutch
and I will be free to move as I please,
but for now it has all become too much
and I am anxious for this pain to ease.

Until then I'll remove it, stroke by stroke
and hope to be finished before I choke.

Monday, 9 July 2012

First Santa, Now This...

For the first time in a comfortable but callow 21 years of life,
I have considered something so callous that could crumble
the strong foundations I have set all of my faith in to.
At the moment, it's just a far-fetched but uncomfortable concern
yet its apparition into my sub-conscious
has brought about a real worry of actualisation
and although there is no evidence to support my worries
there are those brief  hints which seem to grow stronger in the dark of night.
I'm convinced that it won't happen.
It won't happen.
It can't happen.
It won't happen.
It can't happen.

Wednesday, 4 July 2012


I was born a North-Western boy
with all of the world at my feet
but the North-West has held me down
and all of the world has me beat.

I want to be so much better
but it's impossible to break free
from a pattern of imperfection
which has become a part of me.

When I wake up so lethargic
I breathe a promise of purpose
yet I cannot carry out my words
and so any breath is surplus.

I might as well just go to sleep
alone in this North-Western bed
to dream about some company
just about anywhere instead.

Gang Vocals

Last night's stamp on today's hands,
buzzing amps from last night's bands
let lyrics of love linger
in the voice of the singer.
Bars jam packed between the sets,
shows backed with handmade pamphlets,
supporting your local scene
to become the best it's been.

It's another night at the show
but no-one else is wanting to go.
Still, you'll find me there
with moments to share
with people I don't even know.

It's another night at the show
but no-one else is wanting to go.
Still, you'll find me there
with moments to share
with people I don't even know.

It's another night at the show
but no-one else is wanting to go.
Still, you'll find me there
with moments to share
with people I don't even know.

Another Broken Sample

I'm making a few changes.
Okay, it may be forced
but it is never false.
A necessary alteration
to love who and where I am.

You are collateral
that must go along with those traits
which you bring out of me.
you are the apple of my eve
and the snake in my tree.

It's too easy to attach
but it's too hard to love,
so I look with envious eyes
at everything I can't reach,
even those shelves I don't want.

I'm making another show of myself.
Okay, you all know by now
I wear my heart on my sleeve
and my maturity on my cuffs,
so would just a few changes be enough?

Eyes to the Ground!

Stopping mid-sentence-
it's just another sign of distraction,
so concerned about those future puddles
that you miss taking evasive action.

Starting with a splash-
it's a filthy wake up call of no use,
because now that you have got in this mess
you put your soles under further abuse.

Changing your attire-
it's a short term solution to stay clean
but if you take the same mud-ridden path
you will get as dirty as you had been.

Avoiding the path-
sure it will stop you getting in that state
but your curiosity draws you in
and you are forced to the same filthy fate.

I Don't Want a Birthday

I don't want a birthday.
It's all a farce.
I don't want a birthday.
A pain in the arse.
I don't want a birthday.
Why would you celebrate...
I don't want a birthday.
your fatal fate?
I don't want a birthday.
Especially if it involves drinking.
I don't want a birthday.
I want to lie alone thinking.
I don't want a birthday.
It may sound depressing...
I don't want a birthday.
but solitude is a blessing.
I don't want a birthday.
I hope my friends read this.
I don't want a birthday.
I hope my friends heed this.
I don't want a birthday.
I'll enjoy my life fading...
I don't want a birthday.
all alone, listening to endserenading.

Not at the Races

I can't keep up with the beat of my heart,
I've been lagging behind, gasping for breath.
It's like my longings have had a head start
and they will not slow down until my death.

It wouldn't be so bad if I could rest
from all of my wants and all of my needs,
but I'll have to settle for second best
and keep on running until my soul bleeds.

My words are as tired as this position
but they will serve me well until the end
where I may find myself some precision
and the time to let my beaten limbs mend.

And words will help to pump the blood around
and will stay strong even when I hit the ground.

Hard to Please

Scrolling through contacts.
Back to an empty bed.