In Your Dreams

Take me to that place in your mind

where umbrellas rain from the sky,

you get lost in all that you find,

and you will live the day that you die.

Take me to that place in your eyes

where sad days smile and good times frown,

oceans of birds and fish that fly

in a world that lives upside down.

Take me to that place for the blind

where everything is crystal clear,

every snowflake is signed

when only sunshine is near.

Poor Intentions

Why do you fein interest in my evens

just to try and get closer to my odds?

Why do you listen to things which bore you

with a friendly smile and such fervent nods?

Why do you try to mask your true intentions

when I can see the hunger in your eyes?

If you do don't know what the contest entails

then you will hold no stake to win the prize.

So you will not be involved in the draw

because your desires offer me no draw;

I don't want to be the catch in your paws

but to be the cat which leaves you in awe.

You will have to find somewhere new to feed

where the want is much greater than the need.

Tickley Cough

You are that tickley cough

in the back of my throat

which I can't help but relent to

no matter how much I ignore it.

At least I can find comfort

in that illnesses are temporary

and your nagging urges

will soon be easily swallowed.

Temptation

Leave locks on my zips

and my hands by my hips,

led away from temptation.

Keep my change stored away

and my longings at bay,

led away from temptation.

Let my stomach be flat

and my wallet be fat,

led away from temptation.

Let me remain good

when misunderstood,

led away from temptation.

She Loves Me So

That flower in my heart,

so vivid and vibrant,

it is beginning to bloom.

I can sense the bees

eagerly buzzing around

attempting to get closer.

It makes me grow tall

with my roots planted firm

to feel wanted.

Pull away my petals

and let it conclude

"she loves me so"...

Smiles All Round

For the first time in a while

I've notices sunrays piercing the clouds.

For the first time in a while

I've felt my mouth form a smile.

For the first time in a while

I have reason to be proud.

For the first time in a while

I've felt my mouth form a smile.

A Better Self Portrait

I want to be as pure on the inside

as I always present myself to be.

I want no secrets for me to hide

including my own morbid misery.

So I'll give it a go being clean cut

and wash away those things which get me down.

I'm going to stop living by my gut

and start to trust what lies beneath my crown.

I'm going to live a life of pearly white

and try to brighten up all of my dark.

I'm going to maintain my early nights

and compliment them with early starts.

I'm going to paint my present at its best

and let the future fill in the rest.

Summer Cheer

Another summer,

another group of friends home

who I probably wont see.

Another summer,

another promise of sunshine,

unfulfilled and wet.

Another summer,

another opportunity to rest

until it becomes tedious.

Another summer,

another chance to make memories

which goes wasted lusting over the past.

Another summer,

another season closer to death.

Lost Child at 20

I will not change the world

and the world will not change me

so I need to start loving the things I live by

rather than trying to live by the things I love.

Someday I'll find that happy medium

that matured compromise

but let me be a child just a while longer

until I find my feet and my heart stops growing.

Minnow

With my eyes shut tight like clams,

I don't want to leave this ocean bed

when every wave of washed up wishes

laps over my drowsy dreams.

I can feel myself drowning in despair

at the prospect of another dismal day

full of desperation and depression,

being a minnow in a sea of marauders.

Wasted Potential

I know I have so many talents

but I am too weak to meet my potential.

So tell me, does saying this make me arrogant

or under-confident?

Give up the Chase

I've come to realise that life is a series

of false expectations which we chase

in the hope that we may reach them,

like traveling on an escalator

they travel from a constant distance

at the same pace as me.

It's quite depressing to think

that I have so many years to come

of the same fruitless following,

and I will never reach anything

or be of any more worth.

Almost 21 and I might as well be dead.

Can-Do

Self-doubt is the only impediment

which has deterred me from living my dreams.

From now, I will relentlessly believe

that I can achieve any of my schemes.

To be realistic is to be resigned

to the confines society has set,

so scribble out all of the boundaries

and you will learn to live without regret.

And I will keep on scribbling away

until those scrawling scratches make some sense

because if I keep on pressing down hard

the words will be in their own terms and tense.

One of these days I will learn how to fly;

I say it's viable, so why can't I?

Diversions

If I knew the way

to where I want to go

would it be enough

to prevent getting lost,

or would I still get sidetracked

on some wrong turn

who sends me

hopelessly perplexed?

I know the direction

that I ought to take

but every time I set off

something blocks the way,

and every diversion

I take in good intentions

is another three years back

to the sorry place I started.

Crybaby

Maybe I am not all of those white lies

I was told I'd be when I was a kid,

there is nothing special behind my eyes

and I know even less than I ever did.

I know they were told to boost my esteem

but your words did more harm than they did good

because when I defiantly dared to dream

I got far less than I thought I should.

I am no longer your little boy

but I am just as fragile and scared,

I am still searching for another toy

rather than waiting for mine to be repaired.

And when in need, I screw up my face and cry,

so maybe that baby in me did not die.

Set in my Ways

I live by my own unfounded theories

which all sound great inside my head.

I have the conviction to believe

but lack the confidence to make them spread.

I might well be an unknown mastermind

or a lunatic with his head in the clouds,

but to seek recognition I will not find

is to be just as dim as the blinded crowds.

I like to think the world isn't ready

when in fact I'm not ready for the world,

I should keep expectations safe and steady

and not concern myself with where I'm curled.

Someday, I'll be ready to let you all in

and you will see the grounds behind my grin.

Choose a Letter, Any Letter

Alphabetic lottery

isn't what it used to be,

its draws are all old history

and don't present a lot for me.

Wrapped Up

My to-do list is wrapped around my neck

and I cannot find the air to inhale;

or the pen to keep those things done in check

and so time will pass and those tasks must fail.

If only it could give me just an inch

then it would comfortably unravel

 but I am confined and I can feel its pinch

which makes my throat sound as rough as gravel.

Someday, I am sure I will escape its clutch

and I will be free to move as I please,

but for now it has all become too much

and I am anxious for this pain to ease.

Until then I'll remove it, stroke by stroke

and hope to be finished before I choke.

First Santa, Now This...

For the first time in a comfortable but callow 21 years of life,

I have considered something so callous that could crumble

the strong foundations I have set all of my faith in to.

At the moment, it's just a far-fetched but uncomfortable concern

yet its apparition into my sub-conscious

has brought about a real worry of actualisation

and although there is no evidence to support my worries

there are those brief  hints which seem to grow stronger in the dark of night.

I'm convinced that it won't happen.

It won't happen.

It can't happen.

It won't happen.

It can't happen.

NW

I was born a North-Western boy

with all of the world at my feet

but the North-West has held me down

and all of the world has me beat.

I want to be so much better

but it's impossible to break free

from a pattern of imperfection

which has become a part of me.

When I wake up so lethargic

I breathe a promise of purpose

yet I cannot carry out my words

and so any breath is surplus.

I might as well just go to sleep

alone in this North-Western bed

to dream about some company

just about anywhere instead.

Gang Vocals

Last night's stamp on today's hands,

buzzing amps from last night's bands

let lyrics of love linger

in the voice of the singer.

Bars jam packed between the sets,

shows backed with handmade pamphlets,

supporting your local scene

to become the best it's been.

It's another night at the show

but no-one else is wanting to go.

Still, you'll find me there

with moments to share

with people I don't even know.

It's another night at the show

but no-one else is wanting to go.

Still, you'll find me there

with moments to share

with people I don't even know.

It's another night at the show

but no-one else is wanting to go.

Still, you'll find me there

with moments to share

with people I don't even know.

Another Broken Sample

I'm making a few changes.

Okay, it may be forced

but it is never false.

A necessary alteration

to love who and where I am.

You are collateral

that must go along with those traits

which you bring out of me.

you are the apple of my eve

and the snake in my tree.

It's too easy to attach

but it's too hard to love,

so I look with envious eyes

at everything I can't reach,

even those shelves I don't want.

I'm making another show of myself.

Okay, you all know by now

I wear my heart on my sleeve

and my maturity on my cuffs,

so would just a few changes be enough?

Eyes to the Ground!

Stopping mid-sentence-

it's just another sign of distraction,

so concerned about those future puddles

that you miss taking evasive action.

Starting with a splash-

it's a filthy wake up call of no use,

because now that you have got in this mess

you put your soles under further abuse.

Changing your attire-

it's a short term solution to stay clean

but if you take the same mud-ridden path

you will get as dirty as you had been.

Avoiding the path-

sure it will stop you getting in that state

but your curiosity draws you in

and you are forced to the same filthy fate.

I Don't Want a Birthday

I don't want a birthday.

It's all a farce.

I don't want a birthday.

A pain in the arse.

I don't want a birthday.

Why would you celebrate...

I don't want a birthday.

your fatal fate?

I don't want a birthday.

Especially if it involves drinking.

I don't want a birthday.

I want to lie alone thinking.

I don't want a birthday.

It may sound depressing...

I don't want a birthday.

but solitude is a blessing.

I don't want a birthday.

I hope my friends read this.

I don't want a birthday.

I hope my friends heed this.

I don't want a birthday.

I'll enjoy my life fading...

I don't want a birthday.

all alone, listening to endserenading.

Not at the Races

I can't keep up with the beat of my heart,

I've been lagging behind, gasping for breath.

It's like my longings have had a head start

and they will not slow down until my death.

It wouldn't be so bad if I could rest

from all of my wants and all of my needs,

but I'll have to settle for second best

and keep on running until my soul bleeds.

My words are as tired as this position

but they will serve me well until the end

where I may find myself some precision

and the time to let my beaten limbs mend.

And words will help to pump the blood around

and will stay strong even when I hit the ground.

Hard to Please

Scrolling through contacts.

No.

Nah.

Nope.

Back to an empty bed.