All is Fair...

I once felt so honoured to be your disposable body,

the hero who would kiss your enemies to death.

You paid dutiful respects at the funeral of you and me,

but shed no tear over our final parting breath.

You pleaded ignorance when out of the public's eye

and searched for the next tangle to initiate

knowing very well that they would also die

blundering through the no-man's land of love and hate.

Remould

Brief tilts will not collapse the mould

unless constant and committed

but the final push is all it takes

for a change to be acquitted.

You have no grounds to make a stand

if you lean on unstable walls,

a balance must be maintained

to overcome fear of the fall.

So take the first and hardest step

on the path to being something new,

not to create another persona

but to become the best of you.

Shadow Chase

I watched my shadow stroll across the street

and had to practically beg him to wait for me.

When the morning sun hit its piercing peak,

he waved goodbye and cried "I'm free!"

He gave a leap and clicked his heels

just to emphasize his state of glee

and as I tried to keep up with him

he wandered somewhere I could not see.

I let his pull guide my every step

but he was just as eager to flee,

we reached the coast, he took a dive

and now my shadow is lost at sea.

Put Down

No care for caution

in a casual kind of way,

I strolled into your claws

and had no intentions to stay.

Did I scratch the surface

on your list of demands

or was you waiting to be put down

by my able, willing hands?

I have tried to be fair;

as fair as your features seem,

but the relativity is too delicate

for me to be your childhood dream.

Out of Touch

Depth is defined by the shallow,

for those who drown too much

in the pit of their perceptions

and those who have lost touch.

Out of Reach

When four becomes zero,

when the branches have dissolved,

the leaves have all fallen

and the seasons have evolved

there lingers a whisper,

a faint trace of the past,

a slight hope to hold on to

so we can make moments last

but the butterfly is thinning

and its far from my skin.

You're losing your wings,

I'm losing my grin.

Smiles Behind Dustmasks

A forgotten world, so gritty and grim

yet full of the ethics which made us proud.

Thick powders of dust in which you could swim

packed full of the hope which time's not allowed.

I wish to go back to this greyer grass

which I've heard so many stories about

but I'm seeing parallels with out past

and I find the vibes are in their second bout.

Bridged between defamation and delight,

we're in the slog away from recession;

determined to put all our mistakes right

we're in a world of euphoric progression.

And so a bit of squalor makes me smile

knowing the future scenes it could compile.

Fleeting

Guilty grins from across the carriage,

you and I both know

what your boyfriend doesn't

and I'm not one to act upon a simple smile

but I'm curious as to where you'd like to go.

One thing we have got is time;

this could be your stop

or we might get off together,

but all you need is to dare to defy the ticking

with a swift line and location to drop.

So hit me up if you want to hit it off,

and I can tell by your eyes

that you want me more than him;

let's take advantage of a fleeting moment

and see exactly what time buys.

Must Develop More Adventures

Fulgurant lights disrupt dark nights

with self-prescribed flights to dizzy heights.

Infelicitous brushes in split second rushes,

her face flushes and you match her blushes.

The beat fades in a decrescendo fueled daze

and euphoria invades your formerly stoic ways.

Arpeggio blips guide your introspective trips,

and all perspective rips when it hits your lips.

Zoom Out

Focus distracts from the bigger picture

and points out all of our greatest flaws

so take a step back, be a blur with me

and follow wherever the lens goes.

Tightrope Act

I've always thought myself an acrobat

but I have been becoming less agile.

When you left me with no landing mat

my fear of falling made me feel fragile.

I've always relied on your safety net

and so I must find more faith in my skill,

realising that doubt is my only threat

I could achieve whatever's in my will.

I'll always have that small voice inside my head

telling me that I can never achieve,

but I'll listen to the angel instead

who's imploring me to always believe.

I will continue to walk those dizzy heights

and focus on futures rather than frights.

Toppled Queen

Your hesitance kept on showing

whilst my attachment was growing,

we could not find a middle ground.

I had no way of knowing

where this darkened path was going

but I was forlorn with what I'd found.

A new sensation is brewing

with other queens to be pursuing,

I no longer want you to be crowned.

A downfall of your own doing,

and one I hope that you're rueing-

I no longer want you around.

Reaching for the Highest Branch

Life presents us with numerous choices

forced on us by many different situations,

which result in endless outcomes.

The destinations and decisions meant for us are infinite.

Anything in life is possible.

Cheque Your System

I've recently come to the realisation

that nothing in life is comparative,

and things should only be observed

through their individual merits.

Similarly, the value placed upon an object or idea

should be determined by personal worth

rather than a pre-determined structure

based off the ideals of others.

Complex Objects

Plucking perspiration from your prism,

make me feel imprisoned.

Make me plea, make me please.

Force me into frisson.

Putting me firmly into my place,

manipulate the pace.

Make it swift, make me shift.

Force my heart to race.

Attention Seeker

I am an attention seeker of the very worst kind.

I want it in the purest form.

I want to make you feel warm

and cause you elation.

I want admiration

which would make me blush

I don't want to be a fleeting brush

in the back of your mind.

Piece Becomes the Player

I've been slipping away from you

but your strings have pulled my back.

Attached so tightly to my chest,

they possess the strength I lack.

I could not bear to be the pawn

that is forced to make your moves,

I could not be the sacrifice

which your cunning game removes.

It's about time I removed myself

and focused upon my own play,

keeping an eye on the options

which present themselves day by day.

Sheep

At just 21 I feel like mutton

when I took for granted being the lamb,

but people much older still pull it off

whilst they are giving much less of a damn.

I'm starting to rediscover my spring legs

but I'm wondering how long they will last,

if they'll buckle at a heavy future

or succumb to the build up of the past.

At least for now I'm happy in my wool

and I hope that it will endure the cold,

no longer content to follow the herd

I will not let my identity be sold.

To you, I may just be another sheep

but I still have my own values to keep.

Lost Leaf

Lost souls get sucked into some self-convincing conformity,

where they can say only what's sanctioned by their scene,

until their outline is blurred within the vast enormity

of each vapid shell which has built this bland machine.

Do you know who you are?

Is your brain a work of art?

Is every stroke calculated

to play some bigger part?

My own lost soul blows about in the blundering breeze

and I can consciously call myself no better than the rest,

unsure of which situation or section I ought to appease

the only difference is, I am not content with my nest.

Do you know who you are?

Is your brain a work of art?

Is every stroke calculated

to play some bigger part?

Let Angels Uncover Riddles' Answers

Red wine lips and chalk-white skin,

ocean blue eyes draw me in.

Velvet voice and sugar smile,

chocolate hair in such sleek style.

I can't remember where your tongue had traced

nor where your long legs limbered off to

but I can't forget your delicate taste

or my delicate thoughts of me and you.

I still search for that dream in my sleep

where you are here and mine to keep.

Careworn Comfort

The old faces, so fresh and full of verve

greet my heavy head, haggard and harrowed.

I cannot tell if we've drifted apart

or if our separate paths have narrowed.

Their visage is a taunting reflection

of everything that I could have been,

a diagram of my distancing dreams

with labels pointing out things I've not seen.

But if I start to look past the facade

I see they're just a ghost in a jester's attire,

their smile extends either side of their jaw

but it isn't matched where their eyes lie higher.

So I'm quite content to be rugged and rough

because my honest form is comfort enough.

Crease

Sensuality.

Orange hum.

Living.

Close as can be.

Tigers dancing in the sky.

Snowflakes in Mid-July.

Sleeping pills.

Burst apart.

Lights.

Heaven.

Mist.

Personality is predictability.

Missed.

Sense is subjective.

Alone.

Crazy.

Fears.

Furnace.

Lost.

Drone.

Tilted

Wonky.

                                                               Ask you.

Answer?

                        Askew.

Dawn

The most repulsing things seem resplendent

for these 51 seconds of fermenting filth,

as my subconscious sleeps with my surroundings

and my mind is a meditating mindfield.

Eyes snap open.

I'm awake.

Rain down, beads of melted wax,

let it soak into my skin.

Rain down, prior perceptions

let me eat myself from within.

I have a lust for this drowsy dance.

I long for this lagging learning.

I want connection to this cause.

You are not that which I am

but I am not that which you're not,

let us tie our better halves together

and be happy with our lot.

Why am I burning?

It's coming.

Why am I drowning?

What's coming?

Why am I alive?

I'm here.

The first time.

I miss people I haven't yet met.

I remember things which haven't yet happened.

I am sure of things I do not yet know.

I have visited myself for the very first time.

It's okay, you're safe now.

I'm here.

The Great Retreat

You teased my curtains

with your fingertips.

You let the rays of light

kiss your tender lips.

I cried for more time

in your cradling arms

but life has deadlines

past the snooze of alarms.

And so I went back

to my sorry sleep

where I'm free to dream

of something real and deep.

I guess it's just fate

which made life this way,

staying up too late

to wake another day...

Before I knew it

my eyes opened wide,

light pouring over me

I had nowhere to hide.

Burned Bishops

Brittle and brisk, like a kiss on your lips,

such sharp sentiments to match the songs.

Clear-cut and crisp, like the depth of my risk,

such languished lyrics reflecting my longs.

Drawn-out and dark, like your clavicle's arc,

I could not retrace where my tips should lie.

Welcomed and warm in a comforting form,

I could only point them straight to the sky.

Piercing and pale, like the point of your stare,

but I could not pick up on their sad shine.

Fearsome and fair, like the sting of your tail,

but I could not look back on things which aren't mine.

I can't control cravings I don't contain

but my burned bishops still play on my brain.

Rolling Raindrop

Raindrop, trickle down my window,

gather all your little friends,

do not stop or slow.

Raindrop, dangle and drip from the cill,

remain so transparently pure,

but let your clinging spill.

Raindrop, melt into the ground,

let the sun turn you into steam,

one day you will be found.

A Life to Pass the Time

Fill space,

fill time,

fill lungs,

fill mind.

Compliment my Colour

You are orange, I am red,

we are close but never wed.

You are violet, I am blue,

my bruises are violent because of you.

You are white, I am black,

you have the purity which I lack.

Sizable Steps

Let it itch, let it heal,

let it burn, let it peel,

let it bend, let it break,

let it hurt, let it ache,

let it pour, let it sting,

let it coil, let it spring.

Rub it red, run it blue,

let me improve, let me renew.

Hello Sunshine

Floating freckled smile,

stay with me a while.

Furrow into my fevered bead

and follow where my footsteps lead.

Refulgent orange rays,

shine on all my days.

Highlight every grain of dust

and help my tiring lungs combust.

Requisite sullen shade,

share the air you've made.

Dowse me with your darkest kiss

and let me share your secret bliss.

Losing Sight of Myself

Well oh well oh well oh well

things have changed, can you not you tell?

The gaps have grown,

the lines have faded.

I'm still alone

and feeling jaded.

My youth has been spent

and I'm out of cash.

I fear where I went

became a car-crash.

Dear oh dear oh dear oh dear

I hope another change is near.

I'm tiring fast

and becoming slow

I can't outlast

those fears I don't know.

So I should delve deep

and understand me,

both those fears I keep

and the dreams I see.

Running From/To

I could get into a good position

but then I would let the world pass me by.

My intentions never reach fruition

because I'm afraid of crossing the line.

I have much talent that I've buried deep

and it's so frustrating to slow my pace.

I cannot rely on a pair of feet

that do not believe they can cross this race.

I am hoping that time will make me strong

and I'll no longer have a need to roam,

then I'll find that which I had all along

and regard the ribbon's embrace as my home.

...but 'til then I will run and run and run,

and when I have stopped I can say that I've won.

Not One For Small-Talk

I don't care about the lovely weather.

I don't care how your father is.

I don't care what you've been up to.

I don't care how your new hairstyle looks.

I don't care about what's been on TV.

I don't care who I'd never guess had split up.

I wish I didn't have to care about seeming to care.

Haircut

I tried to cut my hair today

but my curly locks came crawling back.

I tried to force my faults away

but I could not find the will I lack.

I tried to be self-convincing

and tell myself I was in control

but for every part I tried rinsing

away with it went some of my soul.

I tried to be something I'm not

and find perfection which isn't there,

so I'll concentrate on what I've got

and be less concerned with my hair.

I'm Maturity

Why are we losing that sense of surprise

for subtlety and sensibility,

trying to sustain a serious skin

full of constrained credibility?

Where has my inner child retreated to

with his sudden jolts and his ajar jaw

and why do I seek to be in control

when my future does not belong in my paw?

I have been meaning to roll back the years

to where every sight was something pure

and I could feel no fear about my worth

and taste no guilt about being unsure.

I wish I had an excuse to cry out

to a world I know nothing about.

Corners and Corneas

Just as I'm gaining a new perspective,

I'm losing sight of another.

I know that I'm turning a corner

but I still feel as lost as I did as a child;

only this time I can recognise the feeling for what it is.

I find some hope in that my future

is looking much clearer than the hazy past I'm leaving behind,

and that my eyes are filled with much more focus.

My eyes are open,

it's a new morning.

Peel it Back

Summer golden

peeling away.

So milky white;

nothing gold can stay.

So shed your skin

to let life fade

and bathe within

the mistakes you've made.

Clean Fun

Habits go out of style

after a while,

and I guess yours do too.

I'll still be there

with new traits to wear

presented in a cleaner hue.

So I'll see you in town

with an OJ to down

and you stick to your JD.

I have not abstained

my want has just waned

and this is no longer for me.

Every Breath

Every breath is an excuse for the next

so please excuse me if I cannot speak.

I'm sure you're pleased to hear that I'm perplexed

and that my will and words have both grown weak.

Every breath is an excuse for my last

so please excuse me if I'm out of breath.

I'm sure you're pleased to hear that I'm aghast

and pondering the details of my death.

Every breath is an excuse for a rest

so please excuse me if my breathing halts.

I'm sure you're pleased to hear I failed my test

and I'm personified by my own faults.

Every breath is one closer to dying

but with every breath I am still trying.

In Your Dreams

Take me to that place in your mind

where umbrellas rain from the sky,

you get lost in all that you find,

and you will live the day that you die.

Take me to that place in your eyes

where sad days smile and good times frown,

oceans of birds and fish that fly

in a world that lives upside down.

Take me to that place for the blind

where everything is crystal clear,

every snowflake is signed

when only sunshine is near.

Poor Intentions

Why do you fein interest in my evens

just to try and get closer to my odds?

Why do you listen to things which bore you

with a friendly smile and such fervent nods?

Why do you try to mask your true intentions

when I can see the hunger in your eyes?

If you do don't know what the contest entails

then you will hold no stake to win the prize.

So you will not be involved in the draw

because your desires offer me no draw;

I don't want to be the catch in your paws

but to be the cat which leaves you in awe.

You will have to find somewhere new to feed

where the want is much greater than the need.

Tickley Cough

You are that tickley cough

in the back of my throat

which I can't help but relent to

no matter how much I ignore it.

At least I can find comfort

in that illnesses are temporary

and your nagging urges

will soon be easily swallowed.

Temptation

Leave locks on my zips

and my hands by my hips,

led away from temptation.

Keep my change stored away

and my longings at bay,

led away from temptation.

Let my stomach be flat

and my wallet be fat,

led away from temptation.

Let me remain good

when misunderstood,

led away from temptation.

She Loves Me So

That flower in my heart,

so vivid and vibrant,

it is beginning to bloom.

I can sense the bees

eagerly buzzing around

attempting to get closer.

It makes me grow tall

with my roots planted firm

to feel wanted.

Pull away my petals

and let it conclude

"she loves me so"...

Smiles All Round

For the first time in a while

I've notices sunrays piercing the clouds.

For the first time in a while

I've felt my mouth form a smile.

For the first time in a while

I have reason to be proud.

For the first time in a while

I've felt my mouth form a smile.

A Better Self Portrait

I want to be as pure on the inside

as I always present myself to be.

I want no secrets for me to hide

including my own morbid misery.

So I'll give it a go being clean cut

and wash away those things which get me down.

I'm going to stop living by my gut

and start to trust what lies beneath my crown.

I'm going to live a life of pearly white

and try to brighten up all of my dark.

I'm going to maintain my early nights

and compliment them with early starts.

I'm going to paint my present at its best

and let the future fill in the rest.

Summer Cheer

Another summer,

another group of friends home

who I probably wont see.

Another summer,

another promise of sunshine,

unfulfilled and wet.

Another summer,

another opportunity to rest

until it becomes tedious.

Another summer,

another chance to make memories

which goes wasted lusting over the past.

Another summer,

another season closer to death.

Lost Child at 20

I will not change the world

and the world will not change me

so I need to start loving the things I live by

rather than trying to live by the things I love.

Someday I'll find that happy medium

that matured compromise

but let me be a child just a while longer

until I find my feet and my heart stops growing.

Minnow

With my eyes shut tight like clams,

I don't want to leave this ocean bed

when every wave of washed up wishes

laps over my drowsy dreams.

I can feel myself drowning in despair

at the prospect of another dismal day

full of desperation and depression,

being a minnow in a sea of marauders.

Wasted Potential

I know I have so many talents

but I am too weak to meet my potential.

So tell me, does saying this make me arrogant

or under-confident?

Give up the Chase

I've come to realise that life is a series

of false expectations which we chase

in the hope that we may reach them,

like traveling on an escalator

they travel from a constant distance

at the same pace as me.

It's quite depressing to think

that I have so many years to come

of the same fruitless following,

and I will never reach anything

or be of any more worth.

Almost 21 and I might as well be dead.

Can-Do

Self-doubt is the only impediment

which has deterred me from living my dreams.

From now, I will relentlessly believe

that I can achieve any of my schemes.

To be realistic is to be resigned

to the confines society has set,

so scribble out all of the boundaries

and you will learn to live without regret.

And I will keep on scribbling away

until those scrawling scratches make some sense

because if I keep on pressing down hard

the words will be in their own terms and tense.

One of these days I will learn how to fly;

I say it's viable, so why can't I?