Thursday, 29 December 2011

Hateless

Some say that to show compassion
to those who hurt you
is to show weakness,
but they are blind to the strength
of a heart rid of hate,
and I'm sorry if this passion
had once hurt you
but I will not be weak;
no I will be strong
and be blind to your hate.

Wednesday, 28 December 2011

Unturned Stones

Oh lord, please leave me just one stone unturned
to save the insects living underneath
from the monotony of mysteries learned
and being without questions of what lies beneath.

Please leave all those eager souls in the dark
so they may enjoy  the thrill in the ask
The excitement gained from a question mark
often outweighs what is behind truth's mask.

That is not to say that you should live blind
but you should let the answers seek you
and each unturned stone that you may find
will justify everything that you do.

People forget that knowledge is sour
and the question itself holds the power.

Dizzy

Is it greed to ask for more
if you have less than before?
When things aren't going your way
can they still be okay?

Looking down from the peak
is when the view looks most bleak
so forgive me for feeling weak.

Saturday, 24 December 2011

End of Year Recollections

I've been thinking back to this time last year
and how much everything seems to have changed.
How some of the things which I held so dear
are now considered obsolete and estranged.

But through all the experiences faced
I have not let this year change or deter me
and even if some moments have gone to waste
they still defined who I continue to be.

This last year has presented some pain
but in myself I am just as content,
to see the sunshine behind clouds of rain
and now that warmth will follow the descent.

Over the year things in my life have altered
but my rosy outlook has still not faltered.

Friday, 23 December 2011

Project

I'm begging you
to drag me from my comfort zones
and give me everything
that I say I dont want.
Take apart
each stubborn ideology
from my contrarian
mind full of loneliness.
Replace it all
with whatever you need from me,
make me your idea
of what perfection could mean.

Dowsing - Drowning

The lit up mirrors and the scented mist,
wont conceal my every imperfection
trying to remember every girl I kissed
as I scrutinise my reflection.

I savour every second of my soak,
cleansing away each and every flaw
before I leave the house in a cloud of smoke
leaving my shadows in a darkened awe.

The washing continues straight down our throats
as our tongues combat those prangs of guilt,
we both make our excuses, collect our coats
and return to where acquaintances were built.

And when the night ends it will start again
washing my impurities down the drain...

Tuesday, 20 December 2011

Overexposure

Keep chewing the flavour out of your food
'til you forget why you took the first bite.
Keep wallowing in your sorrowful mood
'til your dark completely devours your light.

Keep singing along to that same sad song
'til its words and messages lose meaning.
Keep convincing yourself your friends are wrong
'til they give up helpfully intervening.

Keep doodling on the margins of your page
'til all of the ink from your pen runs dry.
Keep spending all the contents of your wage
'til there is nothing left for you to buy.

Stop wearing down all that you love like their toys,
there is a battery life to your joys.


Lodging

I've been taking rural walks to find calm,
to get away from all but my mind.
I've been scribbling notes on to my palm,
trying to compare each place that I find.

The best of the lands seem to be out of bounds,
and I daren't fall victim to the owner's gun
as he tries to protect his lovely grounds,
all for a few moments of harmful fun.

So patiently I must bide my time
until those fields are vacant for me to roam
and when I can call them mine
I will lie down in them and call them home.

I am eager like a woken Christmas child
waiting to unwrap my portion of the wild.

Sunday, 18 December 2011

Parallel Paths

We've been through many differing phases,
from friends to lovers, contempt back to friends
and through all of the meetings life raises
some encounters conclude with better ends.

When things went sour I was filled with regret,
we were just kids finding our place in the earth
but that is a time we can now forget
as we have refound what our bond is worth.

I wonder where it is our paths will lead
and if they'll continue to run side by side,
but there is one thing that is guaranteed
and that is my hope that they don't divide.

We are fastly approaching a new year
and I'm so glad that you're once again near.

Crossed Horizons

The church spire has dominated my skyline
     since the day that I was brought into this world,
          and although I am not a religious man,
               the sight has given me both bearings and hope.
But now this great monument must be forlorn
      as the grand corporations barge their way in,
          and although they still offer a vantage point,
               their paths are designed to lead to temptation.
I miss the era of that blinding red cross
     which seemed so distant to me as a wide-eyed child,
          and although I now recognise how close it is,
               it is too late for my horizons to be saved.

Secret Somethings

You deserve a sonnet every day
to let you know how wonderful you are
but I'm scared my words will drive you away
and as things stand, you're already too far.

But still there are some things which I must say
in the hope that you know for whom they are meant,
when I've been keeping these feelings at bay
it will be a relief when these words are sent.

I'm not sure what it is that you want
but I'm certain about what you deserve
and although you try to act nonchalant
I think I could provide your life with verve.

Yet, for now I will just keep on guessing
until life may one day give me blessing.

Saturday, 17 December 2011

Flee, Fly Free!

"Let the sky swallow the sun
so that the darkness
may allow sorrow some rest",
the swallow soulfully sung
to quail its sadness
full of darkness and unrest.

Friday, 16 December 2011

Chin Up

The boy who was raised in the wild
could navigate without his sight,
with his memories compiled
he would test himself in the night.

And sure enough, he'd find his way
without taking so much as a peak,
but when he would walk in the day
what his eyes saw was just as bleak.

For he would look down at his feet
knowing that he would not get lost
but without new horizons to greet
he would forget the beauty he's crossed.

And then one day, he raised his chin
and saw the world as if it was born,
taking all of the beauty in,
his tired soul didn't feel as worn.

Odd Piece

This jigsaw puzzle that I have
scattered messily in the attic of my skull
has been troubling me since I first opened it.
I cannot concentrate with such clutter
and to unclutter I need concentration;
I'm trying to force my mismatching ends to meet.

After a break I've managed to regain composure
and starting at the edges,
I am slowly working my way towards the centre.
But now that I finally feel satisfied
that I have finished piecing all the parts together
there is a solitary part which doesn't match.

I'm not sure where this outlier belongs,
but I guess I'll keep this spare part
to be used when the time is right.

Wednesday, 14 December 2011

Haste vs. Heart

I get over-concerned with the different ways home
and forget that all the routes take me to the same place.
Each path makes its claim to being the more fair
but I've come to settle on those with the quickest pace.

It seems I have more care for rash convenience
rather than going out of my way for some joy.
When rationality loses lenience
my impatient ways can potentially destroy.

So the next time I must decide at a junction
I will make sure I don't regret what could be wrong,
not basing my choice on its respective function
but making the steps I wanted to all along.

Monday, 12 December 2011

Born in the Cold

New born cub, welcome to the club.
Here you will learn how to survive.
I know you yearn to always learn
but please be content being alive.
The world grows blunt the more you hunt;
it is an unforgiving place.
You are green, with so much unseen
and you might land flat on your face.
Don't spectate, participate
and take happiness from each day.
Just mix care with optimistic dare
and you can avoid being the prey.

Saturday, 10 December 2011

Make Your Move

If you feel any attraction,
why don't you find out for yourself?
I seldom make the first action
when I have no belief in myself.

And I know even if you feel
you'll brush my beating aside,
denying that my heart is real
or that I'd fit well by your side

But I am more than a match
if you would take a chance.
I could be the greatest catch
to ever bite your baiting glance.

I'm aware of my off-putting faults
but I am striving to improve,
an effort that never halts...
if only you'd make the first move.

Friday, 9 December 2011

Suspended Time

I feel like a frozen Sun
with the mid-orbit world at my feet.
Each suspended second seems so clear
and the wind is howling all the answers
to the questions of the sleet
abrasively in my ear.

Enlightened in theory but I feel so discomfited,
having everything in view
means everything can see me,
and I am terrified of this fresh, cold honesty.
There is beauty in all that we do
but there are imperfections in all that I see.

Narcissistic Self-Loathing

They say to hate someone is also to love
because to hate you must care,
but I don't tend to hate people.
I dislike people,
I am annoyed by people,
I avoid people,
but I rarely hate.
In fact, the only person that I really hate
is me...
so does that mean I only care about myself?

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

The Constraints of an Identity Crisis

I am desperate
for the affection
that I do not have for myself,
but I know
people will have a hard time
falling love with who I am
when I can't decide
who it is I want to be.

Chased by Wolves

In the heart of the rust carpeted woods
the hounds are harmonising their howling,
whilst underneath the feathered cloud hoods
the moon’s face is discerningly scowling.

The man runs with his eyes over his shoulder,
darting to find what he fears the most.
As the night is slowly drawing colder
the wolves' jaws are rapidly drawing close.

Scrambling to the haven of an old oak tree,
he's unaware that the wolves have caught his scent.
They stroll around in circles hungrily
waiting for his composure to be spent.


And sure enough, he soon flees to a new place
where he hopes he can safely hide away
but the wolves can easily match his pace
and they feed on each failure's dismay.

If only he knew to face his fear and fight;
to growl right back at their toying voices
then the wolves would look elsewhere for a bite
and he wouldn't need to such hard choices.

See, he would run out of places to hide
if he insisted on feeling afraid;
a victim of his own misguided pride
and decisions that were forced to be made.

Monday, 5 December 2011

Wanting, Dreaming

If you have a want that outweighs your need
then is it only a subject of greed?
And if your wants are not attainable
then how long can dreams be sustainable?
If your dreams still refuse to be broken
how can the dreamer be awoken?
And if your dreams turn scary and weird
how can you avoid that which you've always feared?

I've been trying to keep my feet on the ground,
I've been trying to keep my eyes unbound
but I still I manage to drift off to dream,
scenes playing out in a recurring theme.
I've been trying to snap out of my sleep,
I've been trying to make targets to keep
but I still manage to just slightly miss,
fearing I'll always suffer life's lonely kiss.

They Say

They say that good things come to those who wait
but I'm not sure how long I can delay
until I accept that it is just fate
that some things are not meant to go my way.

They say the best thing the restless is rest
so I have sent myself straight to my bed
but having put their wisdom to the test
I still have heavy heart and a hectic head.

They say plans are best made well in advance
so you can work towards meeting their ends
but I never planned for having no chance
of ever being anything other than friends.

I'm constantly told things will soon go my way
but I'm starting to give up on what they say...

Sunday, 4 December 2011

Assisted Separation

Numerous times, I've been led to do wrong
but I have learnt to live without regret.
Sometimes my temptations can tug too strong
to force me to a choice I won't forget.

Deep down I know that my nature is good
and I use this to justify my faults,
that any wrong step is misunderstood
or I'm a victim of life's sudden jolts.

Under every sin there lies a trigger,
and she squeezes it hard against her skull
til my wrongdoing grows even bigger
and the devil's happy that his hands are full.

But I don't mind being that sinful shot
that reminds you of everything he's not

Saturday, 3 December 2011

Confidence

I'm rediscovering my self belief
and with it I've found that smile I used to wear.
It's still a perfect fit to my relief
and I've notice it's made more people stare.

But rather than letting them walk on by
I've started striking up conversation,
because you get nowhere in acting shy
and confidence can trigger elation.

As my belief rises, so does my chest
and I'm starting to hold my back up straight,
as I return to that which I do best
by regaining a grip on my own fate.

But this high will end, deep down I know
and I'm not ready for another low...

Friday, 2 December 2011

Signposts

You are just another sign posted name
on my journey towards where I want to be.
Everywhere has started to look the same
as the distance grows between you and me.

But the new horizons put yours to shame
with splendour as far as my eyes can see
and although I hold you to no blame
I am finding comfort in feeling free.

I know that this journey may take a while
but it will be worth it get there
to become enthralled with someone new's smile;
to fall in love with the resplendent and fair.

I have been travelling for many mile
and I still haven't found what is so rare.
I don't know if I will arrive in style,
I guess I will find out when I get there.

Of Starlight and the Mirror in the Moon

The stars are shining brightly tonight
and I've been told that means that things are clear
but they are outshone by the moon's false light
and it reminds me that no-one is near.

If only I could be just like the moon
and imitate the sun's glaring shine
then my summers might not end so soon
and under the blue skies you could be mine.

But then we would have something untrue
and it wouldn't be my light you adored
so what little light I have will have to do
because honesty is all I can afford.

I might not offer the brightest glow
but I give more than any star you know.

One Man's Trash is Another Man's Treasure

When I disposed of your red notes
that you used to write about me,
my head was littered with thoughts
of what we could potentially be.

But those thoughts soon became scattered
as the wind caught them into flight
and words that may have once mattered
were blowing out of mind, out of  sight.

That's not to say I didn't care
or that I got rid out of hate,
I just no longer needed them there;
what I needed was a clean slate.

Soon the wind will bring back a slip
that contains the password to my heart,
I  can only hope this wont rip
and that its words will not depart.

The Thumping Under the Floorboards

The Devil came and whispered in my ear
about a demonic notion called lust
which taunts and teases me using my fear
and sets a plaguing rot into my trust
until all that I had once held dear
has disintegrated into coarse rust.

Now my demon is nailed under the boards
but at night I can still hear it creaking,
moaning for treatment in underground wards
apologising for ever speaking,
they say they are willing to work towards
releasing the soul that they are seeking.

When I notice that they have changed their tone
I shower them and then drop their towel
but they still haunt me with their calling moan
crying out in elongated vowels
which sends a chill down my every bone
and yet I am still enticed by their howls.

I am no longer scared of the voices
which whisper in the dead of the night,
much stronger is my fear of the choices
that I face now I've returned to the light
and the feeling that really destroys is
I'll never be able to get it right.

Monday, 28 November 2011

Energy Saver

My heart is an energy saving bulb
which initiates as a small dim light,
radiating progressively hotter
until it's passionately burning bright.

But the transition is far too hasty
and the energy still seems to keep.
It still glows softly when I turn it off,
just enough to distract me from sleep.


I plan to replace my bulb with a candle
which can be blown out if feelings flicker
and my wax can melt into your soft skin
gaining and losing its light much quicker.

I hate how my light loiters and lingers
when the switch is servant to my fingers.

Hearts that Hanker for Hankering

I've been too concerned in making others smile
without any regards for myself.
The gratification is there for a while
but it's detrimental to my long term health.

Because sometimes a smile can soon sour
and I can't stand to see a saddened face.
Whilst I try everything in my power,
it's hard to put your smile in its rightful place.

If I paid more attention to my mouth
I'd notice mine's in more need of turning
with the tear-soaked corners pointed south,
trembling in some fruitless yearning.

I forced a smile when your sadness receded...
I don't want to be loved, just to be needed.

#NoCigar

Close, but no cigar...
another year down the drain
with nothing to show.

#Wisdom

The seasoned old fool
has enough wisdom to know
he will never learn.

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Hairspray

I've been getting high off fumes from your hairspray
when your head rests upon my collarbone.
I can feel my sleep skull start to sway
whilst my thoughts turn to when we're all alone.

I've tried washing your hair before we sleep
and every strand still stands in perfect place,
so if it's not products making the form keep
then why does my heart continue to race?

I blame my giddy head on the gases
because I am scared about how I feel
but when the lingering scent passes
I'm left holding on to something very real.

I've become lost in a firm holding mist
and the crown of your head just screams to be kissed.

Friday, 25 November 2011

The Road of Rewards

I would rather blunder over boulders
and trudge through the roots and the mud puddles.
I would rather bear this weight on my shoulders
than take a journey without these troubles.

Because when I pull through all of these trials
I feel like I've actually got somewhere
and I would endure all the worthwhile miles
for the accomplishment when I get there.

Too many people choose the easy routes
without building themselves along the way.
If you come out with a clean pair of boots
then it has been a waste of a day.

So I will always take the hardest road
and be grateful for all that I'm bestowed.

21st Century Ignorance

"I don't mean to be rude"
but the slights you make
have no basis in moral reasoning
but only in misguided hatred
and as much as you deny it
the generalisations used
are specific and targeted.
You disgust me more
than the so called evils
that you denounce
and I feel that I have more in common
with these subcultures I don't belong in
than any person who persecutes them;
afterall we are all humans.

Thursday, 24 November 2011

Soak

Since you pulled the plug I've been feeling drained
and am slowly slumping to my own slaughter.
I know that letting me sink is more humane
because I am just dirty water.

If someone rinsed themselves within my hold
they would emerge even more bespattered,
everyone stays until the water's cold
pretending the first wash never mattered.

I guess it's all about timing your clean
and to leave before you wrinkle and web.
Once your eyes start to lose that fresh gleam
you know the feeling to begin to ebb.

I won't be dramatic and refuse to cleanse
but I'll be more careful choosing my friends.

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Bare Branches

I look out to see the branches are bare
but I don't remember seeing leaves fall.
It seems we go from having it all there
seamlessly to having nothing at all.

It makes me wonder just when did they leave
and where have the vibrant times gone?
Has the sun merely had a small reprieve
or has the light permenantly moved on?

I know that there will be new leaves to grow
but there's a cold winter to endure first,
and if the branches can shake off the snow
then I can cope with old leaves being dispersed.

We've suffered the season's sudden refresh
but we can look forward to starting afresh.

Friday, 18 November 2011

Go the Long Way/Go the Wrong Way

The problem in taking a shortcut
is that your knowledge of the shortened journey
results in your embarking later,
which in turn gets you to your destination
at the same time as another route would have gotten you.
You walk swiftly, head down with your eyes
staring down at your feet
powering like pistons.

The problem in satellite navigation and maps
is that you rely to heavily on someone else's knowledge
and lose your sense of direction,
your sense of independence,
and your sense of adventure.
You walk swiftly, head down with your eyes
staring down at your directions
whispering like Satan into your ear.

Go the long way,
go the wrong way;
there's a beauty in getting lost.
You'd get more out of your day
encountering some of the world
you would never have crossed.
So next time I pace
I will slow my pace
and soak in the view.
There is no more beautiful place
than this hectic world
which is scarcely given the credit overdue.