Rian Mercer is dead.
I've been rewriting my blotchy past
to present myself with a brighter future.
It's pointless scribbling out mistakes
because I've pressed on so hard
each action has etched into the next page-
I need an empty pad.
I've been reinventing the traits and ideals
which I have defined myself around
to better match the modern definitions
because my dictionaries have been so out of touch
with what being me means-
I need relevance.
I've been revisiting those songs
about who I used to be
and picking out my favourite lyrics
so I can apply them to my current state
and emulate that joy-
I need guidance.
I've been reincarnating
that phantom of happiness
which has been haunting my head,
not resting until I can rest
with a smile on my face-
I need him back.
Rian Mercer is alive.