Monday, 30 April 2012

A Face in the Clouds

I saw your face in the clouds at sundown
but when I diverted my eyes
- just for a moment -
the fog flew out of formation
and now I am filled with frustration
for, in that one moment
my weary but wanting eyes
did not feel so rueful and rundown.

Friday, 27 April 2012

One I Haven't Written Yet

Walking on
the same tired path
that took me home
when I was 6 years old.
Past the fences
which always seemed so high;
now they can't contain
my ever growing sigh.
I follow the stream
wherever it's flowing to.
I used to watch it and dream
that I was floating too.
But those dreams are beyond me,
I'm anchored to the floor
and I cannot turn back to when
I was young enough to dream for more.
Yet I'm still taking shortcuts
rather than taking the long way home,
too hasty in retreat,
too anxious to be alone
I still step in puddles
and drown in the mess I've made
but I can't help but savor
watching all the wet spots fade.
I wish I was still young enough
to get excited when I see my breath
I wish I was still cold at 6...
6 years further from death.

Monday, 23 April 2012

No Pleasing Some People

My aspirations get me down more than they fill me with hope
because they make me feel so unaccomplished,
and I know I would not cope
if I ever tried to achieve them
because I do not believe them.
And really, it's no wonder that I feel so depressed
when it is embedded into my messed up mindset,
sadness always suits me best
so why try to alter
a feeling that won't falter.
But most of these days, I don't even have anything sad
that I can hold on to like some token scar,
and hey it's not that bad;
sometimes I wish that it could be,
it seems that's how I should be.
The truth is, I would love to write a brokenhearted song
but I'm not sure a love strong enough to break my heart
will ever come along,
and so I'll just be happy with my lot
when not a lot is all I've got.

Sunday, 22 April 2012

Daydreams at the Wheel

Sitting at Strawberry Bank
in the 5pm traffic jam
and I don't know if I'll ever get away,
I can't even turn around and bail
when someone's parked up my tail
so I just sit and stay. I sit and stay.
And I notice someone walk by
who's familiarity catches my eye
and I give a concentrating frown,
wondering where I saw her face
I quickly avert my gaze
and look in shame down at the ground.
But in my thoughts I haven't seen
the traffic light has turned green
and now I am the cause of delay,
yet I'm still lost in my mind
wondering what state caused memory to blind
but believe me, how I was, I cannot say,
but for now,
let me forget about any late night regret
for now I pull away.

Wednesday, 18 April 2012

Hey, That's Okay! I'm Ashamed Too.

I'm constantly clinging on to existence
and hoping to find connection,
becoming to slave to this distance
and a lack of affection.
Every single breathe I take
is a tired excuse explaining why
I'm still not ready to break
and I'm still not ready to die.
It wouldn't be so bad
if I could find my place
and I wouldn't be so sad
if I had my own space.
Well, who am I kidding?
I hate rattling around
in an open life forbidding
any sort of common ground.
I might end up resorting to drink
and hating who I've become
when I'm sober enough to think
but drunk enough to feel numb.
And I'll send a thousand texts
to an empty black screen
which is always waiting for the next
forced and formal routine.
I think I'd be okay
if I knew this was normal
but I know noone to say
"hey, this is normal"
and so I'll carry on being detached
and I'll carry on feeling numb,
yet I'm still hoping to feel attached
so I'm not ready to succumb.

Sunday, 15 April 2012

Brief Cuts

you're just a cut,
a recent reminder of wrong.
you'll never scar
and your memory won't last long.

Thursday, 12 April 2012


I've been feeling like a spare component
and I have struggled to feel some purpose
with my own self doubt as an opponent
I am defeated into being surplus.

But to be spare means there are pieces like me
and perhaps they are all feeling just as lost,
blinded by my sadness I could not see
a product isn't defined just by it's cost.

We're all parts trying to find connection
who need to follow where the wires may lead
to discover a sense of affection
because to be needed is what we need.

I've come to see everything has its place
where it's making the world a better place.

Wednesday, 11 April 2012


Resonate to me,
whisper in my ear.
Envelope me with texture
in a voice so crystal clear.

Ripple through my veins
in bloody melody.
Let the needle drop and press
to distort reality.


I would rather be
consistently average
than be hit and miss.

Tuesday, 10 April 2012

Print It!

You have outlined your foul intentions
with disgusting ink which leaks through the page
so forgive any apprehensions
which I may have at this vital stage.

I understood your plan
but I wasn't fully about it
when you went mad at me
because I had the nerve to doubt it!
But if it was supposed to be secret
then you didn't have to shout it
and now that I know
my mind can't rest without it.

But now I know,
but now I know,
now I know that it won't go.
And I feel lost,
I feel lost,
I feel I've lost all that never was.

But it never meant that much anyway
just some drunken fumble,
a stupid mistake.
It never meant so much, go away
and stop keeping me


I'm at that delirious stage where I'm talking to myself;
I really need some sleep.
But these conversations which make absolutely no sense
simply cannot keep.
So yes I agree that this time it cannot be my call
but I'll pick up anyway
and if and when the line is dead and your tone is dropped
then my silence can stay.

Monday, 9 April 2012


I only see your side of things
through the eyes of Stevie Wonder
and it is just like what he sings;
but I can't be blind to your blunders.

I will still try hard to ignore
all the trouble that you can cause
even though I always swore
not to play victim to someone's flaws.

Perhaps I would be better blind
so that I may never be bruised
by a beauty that is unkind
and my eyes may not be misused.

Lately I've had the strangest feeling
that honesty is passing me by.
I don't know what your eyes are concealing
because mine always start to cry.

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Birds at Night

All these birds are chirping outside my room
and all I want is to get a night's sleep,
my mind's consumed with it's own songs of doom
so I'm hoping the joy of the birds can keep.

Daggered beaks keep pelting towards my eyes
so I have no choice but to flinch and blink
but I open them to empty black skies
and now I'm far too scared to even think.

These happy songs sound more like playground taunts
and this sleepless night is hard to swallow
when I cannot fall into my nightmare's haunts
as I'm afraid about the real tomorrow.

So please just blanket me under your wings
and let us see what the morning brings.

Saturday, 7 April 2012

Gently Down the Stream

Creating dialogues in my head
losing track of  both sense and time.
Can I have faith in words you said
if the mouth they came from was mine?
These talks won't materialise-
why worry about how they seem?
Someday I hope I realise,
merrily, life is just a day dream.

Thursday, 5 April 2012

Yellow Bird

Oh yellow bird,
how did your feet evade pain
when they withstood electric in the rain?
Oh yellow bird,
why did you fall for temporary lust
but not for the wind's strongest gust?
Oh yellow bird,
how could I ever make you stay
if you always wanted to fly away?

Good Morning World!

Life is just the comedown
we get after dreaming,
the consequences of
our heart's late night scheming.


My paper evades my pencil
when my smile sticks to my face
but I am happiest with inactivity
when that is the case...

Compliments from Clones

We live in a world which remains
invested in imitation,
relying on our heroes' pains
to find some sort of relation.
We should all have inspirations
who may help to guide our choices
but should hold our own aspirations
and speak in our own voices.
Yet people still ignore their tongue
as if they are scared and ashamed
to say something perceived as wrong
so their identity is tamed.
It's a compliment to copy
but it distracts from who you are;
the execution is sloppy
and it will not get you far.

Wednesday, 4 April 2012

Welcome to my Mind

I'm writing down all of my problems
so that I don't have to say them out loud;

1. I do not earn enough money to achieve the lifestyle I wish to have.
2. I lack the effort and time achieve the lifestyle I wish to have.
3. Aside from a select few friends,
who I don't get to see as much as I would like,
I am disillusioned by society.
4. I crave a stable relationship,
but any situation where I could potentially meet a girl
is one where they would highlight their moral ambiguity
and I am very particular about how people should act in a proper manner.
5. It is expected of me to be more uncouth,
afterall I am only young,
but to think of being that person sickens me
and as young as I may be, I am sure of who I am.
6. I take life, and myself,
far too seriously.
7. I feel I have nothing to offer society,
and although I frequently show potential,
I fear I will always be not quite good enough.
8. I lack the focus required to succeed
in my far too numerous ambitions.
9. I am always craving more,
and so I feel I will never be completely happy with what I have.
10. If I display my sadness, I am met with contempt rather than concern.
11. I am a mess, and I am running out of time to put that right.

Monday, 2 April 2012

Dregs of Doubt Down the Drain

I'm overfaced with a life where I have so many different things to live for
- I'm not sure what I should live for.
I'm wondering if I can wash away this feeling,
because doubt is a dirty word in a place like this
where everyone watches on your every move
like eager eyes peeping through the curtains across,
but I do not feel the need to cover up...
I am shy but certainly not modest.
If I could just scrub out each dilemma one at a time
then my smile might start to become more visible
and that may just detract your attention from my faults.
I'm drying.